Sore bottom lip

You know that it's been a trying moment when you realize that your bottom lip is actually sore from biting it out of frustration! Had a great morning at MOPS and got a few hours with no kids hanging off of me...or each other for that matter. Brandon didn't cry in childcare, but did cling to one teacher the entire time! I'm so thankful that he's staying in there and giving this momma a bit of a break. I love having time to talk to other mommies and just relax. After MOPS all the kids were playing together and when it came time to leave my friend's house it was a nightmare. I never knew how physically challenging a 3 year old could be, but when she's kicking and screaming it definitely adds a bit of frustration to the situation. I just wanted to get both kids strapped into their car seats and head home as fast as I could. I hate having moments like these where I feel so helpless to control the situation and feel like I'm losing it. Then I think about the fact that we're adding a third child to this already crazy family and I get a little nervous. It's crazy that these little people that I LOVE so much can cause me so much strife at the same time. Well I could probably keep rambling, but I feel much better and will leave it at that. I know that everyone else has had moments like this too :)

My week...boring and crazy?

Well I think that this week is going to be a bit slow...even though I feel like I have so much to do. I have a non-stress test and fluid check tuesday and I think that I'll bring Melanie with me so that she can see the baby in my tummy and hear her heartbeat. I think she'll get a kick out of it, although it won't be "kid-free" time so we'll see if I change my mind.

Wednesday I have MOPS in the morning and then a few girls at my table are getting together for lunch afterwards. Brandon actually stayed in childcare the entire time last time, so I'm hoping to make it there again this week so that he can get used to it even more. They said he cried off and on the entire time...which breaks my heart...but I know it's good for him. Plus, it was nice to actually have a few hours by myself! I know that will be a thing of the past since the new baby will be here soon.

Thursday night Brian is going to a baseball game, so I'm hoping to get my stamp stuff out and make some cards to stock up my collection...yet another thing that I know will not happen for a while once the baby is here *LOL*

Friday I have a doctor's appointment and then head off to labor and delivery to get information on the induction...not sure what they need to tell me since this is my third induction, but I'm going anyway. Then we're supposed to head down to San Diego...I'm really nervous about going in to labor while we're down there, but I'm going to look up where the hospital is just in case. If this baby can wait until sunday evening to arrive I would be so happy!!

My inlaws are taking the kids while we're in the hospital and if all goes as planned we should be back at home on wednesday with a new baby! I'm still in shock and just can't believe that we are having another baby...It's so unreal to me!!

Boring day

Woke up and had a pretty productive morning this morning :) I changed the sheets and put away the clean laundry from the weekend and then we headed down stairs to have some breakfast. While the kids were eating I started a load of laundry, loaded the dishwasher and cleaned up the kitchen a bit. Got the kids all dressed and we headed out to run some errands. I wanted to get some sheets for the pack'n'play since the baby will be sleeping in it the first few months, so we were headed to babies'r'us. When we got there it wasn't even open yet...guess I was a bit too quick to get out of the house this morning. So we headed down the street and got some groceries first. I usually dread the grocery store, but the kids were so good the entire trip! By the time we were done we went back to BRU and got the sheets and headed home. The kids snacked and watched a movie while I went through some toys and folded the laundry. Then we drove up to the goodwill to drop some stuff and headed home again. Brandon fell asleep on the way home, so Melanie and I set-up the pack'n'play and organized some of the stuff that I got over the weekend for the baby. She got such a kick out of setting stuff up and kept putting stuff in the pack'n'play for baby "Bwookwin" to play with. I'm really excited to see my kids with their new baby sister.

I think that I'm ready for the baby to come...well I should say that I'm prepared for her to come, but would love it if she held out until October. I have some baby clothes washed and put away, bag packed for myself and the baby's hospital stay (Brian's on his own this time *LOL*), infant carseat all clean and in the car, teeny diapers ready, pack'n'play set-up, etc. Now mentally I don't know if I'm ready for another baby, but who really is ;) I have an ultrasound tomorrow and I'm excited to see how the baby is growing!

Special time with my boy

My MIL really wanted to spend some time one-on-one with Melanie so she came and picked her up at 9am this morning. although Brandon was sad that he didn't get to go, we had a nice morning together. I took him in to get his 2 year pictures and we walked around the mall together. I didn't really think about it, but he's always so rushed because I'm chasing after Melanie. It was so nice to doddle along with him. We looked in the Disney store, stopped and threw pennies in the fountain and then we went to Penney's to get his pics taken. He was such a little trooper while we waited...but once we went in the picture room he didn't want to be in there. We did manage one shot of him smiling, but it's not the best. I ordered a package of pics anyway because I think at this age he probably just won't like his picture to be taken at the studio. Plus, I didn't want to have a 2 yr pic for Melanie and not him.

Once we got back in the car he fell asleep :o) Since I still had some time before my doctor's appointment, I got some gas and went through Drive-thru for a little lunch. It was nice driving in a quiet car and listening to my own music for an hour. Then I dropped Brandon off at my MILs and headed to my appointment. After I picked him and Melanie up she fell asleep for a nap...so now I've had even more time with just my little man. What a difference it is just having him by himself...I've really enjoyed this special time today!

Insomnia

I had forgotten how hard it was to sleep in the last weeks of pregnancy. I'm not sure if it's a mental thing or what, but I just can't seem to settle down to sleep the last few weeks. I know I'm tired because Brandon has been keeping me up the last few nights. But when I lay down to go to sleep I just don't feel like I can fall asleep. Tonight I have a pounding headache for some reason so that hasn't helped either. I wonder if there is anything that I can take that would help...I'll have to ask my doc when I go in on friday! So here I sit at 10:30pm...just took some Tylenol for the headache and washed it down with some tums for the heartburn. Although I can't complain because other then that I'm really enjoying this pregnancy right to the end :)

What happened to ME?

Well I typed an entire entry and lost it somehow...gotta love it when that happens. But it's so therapeutic typing it all out that I'm going to do it again ;)

Lately I have only felt like a live-in housekeeper/nanny. I take care of the things around the house and make sure that the kids are taken care of and at the end of the day that seems to be about it. I think that with all the busyness of life Brian and I have forgotten that we are husband and wife. I was thinking about when we were dating (staying up ALL night with a fussy Brandon will give you that extra time for your mind to wonder) and it was so much fun. I felt so loved and wanted. Lately I wonder where my identity has gone. I obviously had one for the last 25 years before having kids. But now I seem to just be a mommy and homemaker.

I wrote out a letter to Brian last night because I feel like we never get a chance to talk. By the time the kids are fed and in bed...so is my tired husband. It was nice to get everything sorted out in my head and know that he would hear all of it even if it wasn't in conversation form. I realized that since I am so occupied with stuff around here he might feel the same way as me so I made sure I took the time to focus on how much I appreciate and respect him as well. I think that it made him actually think a bit since he came up after reading it and snuggled with me for a few minutes before heading off to work. I hope that if we both put in more effort that we can get things on track with our relationship again. I think it's so important for our kids to see that we love eachother! I know it's a tough season too with having such young kids so I have to remember that things will get better.

On a good note...since I seem to only complain in my blog lately...I got out of bed before the kids did this morning and had a chance to shower all by myself and get some chores started. It feels so good when the kids get out of bed and I've already loaded/started the dishwasher, sorted/started the laundry for the day and had a chance to pick up the family room. Now I don't feel so bad for just sitting here right now ;)

Poop everywhere

I decided to take a walk with the kids down to the shopping center by our house. They have a healthfood store that has a yummy snack that the kids love (veggie booty) and I thought we would hit up the playplace at McDonalds for some lunch afterwards...quite the combo I know ;) It was such a nice walk down there because it was all downhill and there was a cool breeze. The kids were GREAT and they even had some whale fossils on display that Melanie enjoyed seeing! I was really surprised at what a fun day it had been...then it started to take a turn for the worse. While taking our tray of food outside I knocked over my Diet Coke and spilled on my shirt. Not a big deal except for the fact that it spilled a perfectly round spot right over my boob!! It looked as if I was lactating diet coke *LOL* and the pregnant belly only made it seem like that's what it was! I decided that I was a mom and could get away with having a stained shirt.

Then after the kiddos ate and played, Brandon came up to me and I realized that he had poop ALL over the place. He had been playing in the stroller and it was also all over that as well. I didn't even know where to start...of course we walked so I was about a 20 minute walk away from our house. There was the nicest mom there who went and got my diaper bag from across the play place and helped me get out wipes and stuff. She also helped me get into the restrooms since I was pushing the double stroller and trying to coral Brandon and Melanie in there at the same time. I was so embarassed that I had to walk through a food place with a stroller and toddler covered in poop...but what else could I have done??

Of course I had about three wipes left in my diaper bag so it was interesting cleaning things up. but I did have an extra pair of pants for Brandon and an extra shirt of Melanie's so he left looking a little frilly but clean! I put him in the cleanest side of the stroller and walked to the drug store to buy some trash bags. I put a trash bag over the poopy side and plopped Melanie in it and then we headed up the hill for home. Luckily Brandon fell asleep and Melanie is watching a movie so I had a chance to hose down the stroller. I really hope that I can get it cleaned up because it's my favorite stroller and cost me more then I'de like to admit!!

Brian is going to a baseball game after work so I'm hoping I can get the kids in bed early and then shower and go to bed!! I must say that I never pictured things like this happening when I dreamed of being a mommy...definitely a humbling job. But with all the chaos I was so thankful that God placed that other momma there and that the kids behaved so well.

36 week update

Went to get another ultrasound today and everything looked good. Since the baby is still so small they said that I need to start coming in every 2-3 days for non-stress testing and fluid checks. I'm really thankful that we're close to family and friends right now because I have to get sitters so much for the month of September! I think I have 2-3 different appointments every week until October 1st! I'm wondering if they will just induce early...it almost seems like it would be more convenient then having all these appointments. And the NST is only a 20 minute procedure, so I'm driving to drop kids off, then to the doc, then back to pick them up...all for a 20 minute appointment!! I am glad that all my docs are keeping such a close eye on things though because a healthy baby is what is the most important thing. If anything maybe God is giving me some free time before I have this baby...even if it is going to be spent at the doctor's office!