Well I typed an entire entry and lost it somehow...gotta love it when that happens. But it's so therapeutic typing it all out that I'm going to do it again ;)
Lately I have only felt like a live-in housekeeper/nanny. I take care of the things around the house and make sure that the kids are taken care of and at the end of the day that seems to be about it. I think that with all the busyness of life Brian and I have forgotten that we are husband and wife. I was thinking about when we were dating (staying up ALL night with a fussy Brandon will give you that extra time for your mind to wonder) and it was so much fun. I felt so loved and wanted. Lately I wonder where my identity has gone. I obviously had one for the last 25 years before having kids. But now I seem to just be a mommy and homemaker.
I wrote out a letter to Brian last night because I feel like we never get a chance to talk. By the time the kids are fed and in bed...so is my tired husband. It was nice to get everything sorted out in my head and know that he would hear all of it even if it wasn't in conversation form. I realized that since I am so occupied with stuff around here he might feel the same way as me so I made sure I took the time to focus on how much I appreciate and respect him as well. I think that it made him actually think a bit since he came up after reading it and snuggled with me for a few minutes before heading off to work. I hope that if we both put in more effort that we can get things on track with our relationship again. I think it's so important for our kids to see that we love eachother! I know it's a tough season too with having such young kids so I have to remember that things will get better.
On a good note...since I seem to only complain in my blog lately...I got out of bed before the kids did this morning and had a chance to shower all by myself and get some chores started. It feels so good when the kids get out of bed and I've already loaded/started the dishwasher, sorted/started the laundry for the day and had a chance to pick up the family room. Now I don't feel so bad for just sitting here right now ;)
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About Me
- Kendra
- Southern California, United States
- I'm a Christ follower, Wife, Mom, photographer and all kinds of other random things!
3 comments:
We all feel the same way every now and then, Kendra. I am glad you were able to let him know how you were feeling. :)
Omgosh, I am SO not looking forward to that last trimester. LOL I hope you are able to get some sleep soon.
I love writing letters. It always helps me to express exactly what I want to without getting off track. I'm glad Brian responded in a positive way and I hope you continue to find more "couple" time. It really makes things so much nicer. : )
Good girl. I know that Brian loves you and respects you but I hope he learns to show you. I think that you are a good wife and mother. Heck, I'd a married you. :)
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